Top 20 Female Musicians Who’d Make Good Porn Stars

2 February 2010 3 Comments

Ahem… This one is for the guys…

At a recent MusicReview meet up, we decided that certain female musicians could hold serious cross over potential for the porn industry. Are we being serious? Maybe. But hey, take this with a pinch of salt and have a peek .

20. Lady Gaga

Although Lady Gaga is ranked within the Top 10 Androgynous Musicians of All Time , she can look damn hot in latex and all her songs are about sex anyways – “I wanna take a ride on your disco stick” is so Girls Gone Wild.

19. Patricia Lewis

This one is a bit of a wildcard, but after some research, we discovered that she may have already done some German porn in the past. What aren’t you telling us, Patricia?

18. Otep Shamaya (Otep)
Probably the scariest female musician on the face of the planet. Yet, one can’t help but feel turned on by her – especially if she was dressed in leather and whipping the crap out of you.

17. Marta (Bleeding Through)
She already looks like a Suicide Girl – so there’s no need to explain further.

16. Amy Dumas (The Luchagors)

Better known as Lita, from her stint in the WWE, this punk rocker chick suffered many wardrobe malfunctions in the wrestling ring. Naturally, porn is the next step.

15. Amy Lee (Evanescence)

“I’m going under” – don’t you mean down, Amy?

14. Anglea Gossow (Arch Enemy)
Sounding like the leader of the underworld with her deathly growls, Gossow would fit the perfect profile for alternative porn queen.

13. Taylor Swift

She isn’t smoking hot – we just really want a homemade sex tape to be released so that she can shed the holier than thou image once and for all.

12. Beyoncé
The sultry R&B star would do well in bootilicious porn – we promised we wouldn’t say the proper term.

11. Courtney Love (Hole)
She’s been seen naked so many times, leading us to believe that there has to be a Courtney Love sex tape somewhere on the net.

10. Shakira

Goddam! Shakira can shake that booty. We wonder if she’s a she-wolf under the covers too…

9. Nadja Peulen (Coal Chamber)
Nadja embodies the perfect metal – porn crossover. Nadja does Naples? Haha!

8. Avril Lavigne

“He was a boy, and she was a girl, can I make it any more obvious?” You forgot the bit about the camera and spinning waterbed.

7. Katy Perry
She’s already admitted to kissing a girl and liking it, so you know what that means – lesbian porn!

6. Lacey Mosley (Flyleaf)
The petite girl-next-door looks barely legal, but she’s bound to have a wild side somewhere in her.

5. Schoolgirl Britney Spears

Please note the ‘Schoolgirl’ prefix. Pushing Britney Spears into the porn industry after recent escapades is not advisable. We still maintain that the real Britney got kidnapped by aliens or Simon Cowell.

4. Christina Aguilera

A pop star that can actually sing. Yet by the look of that blonde hair and crazy eyes, I think she chose the wrong industry. She bears a striking resemblance to Jenna Jameson though. Hmmm…

3. Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham

A certain editor from MusicReview has a rather obvious crush on a rather hot celebrity [Sergio’s comment: He’s just a closet Spice Girls fan].

2. Cristina Scabbia (Lacuna Coil)

Mama Mia! Scabbia is the kind of girl you’ve always wanted to pick up at a rock concert and take back to a hotel room to do the stuff only Paris Hilton has done. She’s also Italian, so she’s bound to be passionate and fiery.

1. Pussycat Dolls

The Pussycat Dolls make the ultimate 6some – but hey, that doesn’t mean that we’re going to buy their CD.

Have we left anyone out? Let us know in the comment box below.

- Sergio Pereira
sergio@musicreview.co.za
www.twitter.com/scpereira
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- Bret D
info@musicreview.co.za
www.twitter.com/MusicReviewZA
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(4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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3 Comments »

Lethe said:

Lol, good stuff!

# 3 February 2010 at 7:09 am

BongMasteR said:

Entertaining article, you picked mostly the same ladies that I would have chosen.

However, please mark or delete your words about Patricia Lewis having “done german porn”. Patricia Lewis appeared in an erotic b-grade thriller. She did not even appear nude. It may be a terrible movie and some nudity may have been shown, but that does not make it pornography.

I’m not on a PR mission for PL’s sake, but saying someone did porn when they didn’t is just defamatory and insulting. You wouldn’t like it if someone said that untruthfully about your mother.

# 10 February 2010 at 2:35 pm

Kabelo said:

Yo Bong dude,

You got it wrong, brother. Pornography doesn’t just mean slap a boob and finish off with a moneyshot – it’s either the exhibition or portrayl of sexual activity. What do u call etv’s late night stuff then? Some ppl call porn art, whilst other’s call it erotica, and other’s call it simply porn.

Patricia’s movie was distributed in Germany and there was nudity – even a few lesbian scenes hehe. She claimed she had a stunt double for her parts but no one knows the facts – except for her and the director.

And defamation is a pretty strong word for a satirical article. Take a chill pill dude – u rnt Patricia’s PR person like u said. Malema should’ve been locked up for all he’s said recently, and these oaks are just having a bit of fun for guys like you and me to read.

Peace mfuethu and great article musicreview

# 10 February 2010 at 5:15 pm