10. Looney Tunes

C’mon! The name says it all.

9. Beavis and Butthead

While they have no musical (or any actual) talent whatsoever, they’d make perfect roadies or back-up headbangers to any rock band.

8. Animaniacs

The Warner siblings broke all conventions of animation as their musical-inspired capers kept everyone entertained.

7. Denver, the Last Dinosaur

Looking cooler than Eddie Van Halen in the late 80s, Denver was constantly courted by evil concert promoter, Morton Fizzback. Pity, the dinosaur didn’t get a chance to duet with fellow rock gods of his era.

6. Mickey Mouse

As Mr. Becker so kindly pointed out, the Disney mascot’s white gloves surely make him a worthy pianist – or even heir to the late Michael Jackson’s ‘King of Pop’ crown.

5. Lisa Simpson

As the smartest and most talented member of America’s favourite yellow family, Lisa Simpson holds her saxophone close to her heart and continuously impresses everyone in Springfield with her musical talent.

4. The Archies

Aside from chasing after Betty and Veronica, Archie Andrews is also the coolest ginger in Riverdale as he fronts an eponymous garage rock band.

3. Cartman

Everyone has heard Cartman’s cover of Lady Gaga’s ‘Poker Face’ – need we say more?

2. Alvin and the Chipmunks

This isn’t a question of ‘what if?’ – The Chipmunks already have a #1 Billboard Hot 100 and a couple of Grammy Awards to their name!

1. Dethklok

Dethklok are so metal, they make Slayer look like The Backstreet Boys. With lyrics such as, “go forth, be conquered, go forth and die”, no one deserves first place more than Dethklok!

Did we leave anyone out? Let us know in the comments box below.

- Sergio Pereira
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So being the kind of band that likes our fans to get involved, we decided to try something different!

Every second week you stand a chance of winning a signed Knave Cognition album no matter where in the world you are!

All you have to do is have a camera/phone or some mad design /programming skills and …some creative flair!

At the end of the “I Want Cognition” competition, the overall winner will win a Knave sponsored hamper, which includes Black-Flys sunglasses, Jager merchandise + 2 free bottles of Jagermeister and some monster energy drinks. Plus the main prize winner will win a guitar and drum sticks signed by Knave.

We want the world to see how creative Knave fans are, and for you to show all your buddies how totally rad you are!

So here is how it works:

Shoot a video clip, photo, design/animation of something creative with the phrase “I Want Cognition”.

Upload your Video/Photo on our Facebook Fan Page in the fan videos or photo section. Tag yourself in the Video/Photo, and you are set to stand a chance of winning the awesome stuff mentioned above!

The video clip can be recorded on your phone or with a proper camera, we don’t mind as long as we can make out what’s happening in the video. It can be funny or serious, it can literally be anything! The more interesting and creative you are the greater chance you have of winning.

PLEASE DON’T do anything that’s going to get yourself or others hurt or get you thrown in jail!
As rock and roll as that would be, we’d feel slightly bad.

Video clips should preferably be anywhere from 10 seconds to 1 minute in length.

On a side note, some of you may have seen the Knave Volvo cruising around JHB. If you see the car, take a snapshot of it, the best pic will win a Knave CD + 2 free bottles of JAGERMEISTER + some MONSTER energy drink, so you can make you own JAGERMONSTERS!! + Free entrance to a Knave gig of your choice! (If you are in the shot with the Knave cabby, the better your chances are of winning)
This competition will run monthly, so look out for that car!

When does the contest start? RIGHT NOW!
We look forward to seeing the first clip

~K n a v e

- Sergio Pereira
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In a recent interview with Rolling Stone magazine, legendary rocker Keith Richards hinted at the possibility of a new Rolling Stones album in 2010.

He reportedly said, “There’s no definite plans, but I can’t see any of them stopping. I wouldn’t be surprised if we did some recording later this year.”

- Sergio Pereira
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Artist Name: Wednesday 13
Album Name: Fang Bang
Year: 2006
Genre: Horror Rock

Raspy-voiced rocker, Wednesday 13, has come along way since his Frankenstein Drag Queens from Planet 13 and Murderdolls days, and his second solo effort was never going to disappoint his legion of ghoulish fans. Whilst different from Transylvania 90210, Fang Bang still manages to enhance Mr. 13’s reputation as the new leader of the horror rock movement.

Drawing inspiration from punk and sleaze rock, the album’s sound is relatively simple and revolves around the traditional power-chord approach. Critics have slammed the lack of technicality, but honestly, it’s nice to see an artist go back to the basics and borrow a bit from The Ramones songwriting handbook. The deathly guitar effects also add a certain peculiarity to his sound, making the record unique and unlike anything else out there.

The strongest point of Fang Bang is the lyrics, which are extremely tongue-in-cheek and touch on topics from horror movies and black humour themes. The infectious, anthemic quality of a track, such as ‘Till Death Do Us Party’, can easily be termed ‘horror pop’ or ‘psycho radio’ – songs that possess commercial value, but are unlikely to ever find radio airplay due to their gruesome tone.

Simply put, if you want to “rock out with your cock hanging out”, Fang Bang is the perfect party album for you. Just please, don’t take it seriously and kill your partner or start digging for corpses to shag.

Best Tracks: ‘Happily Ever Cadaver’, ‘Curse of Me’ and ‘Till Death Do Us Party’

70/100

- Sergio Pereira
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Twice SAMA nominated artist The Sick-Leaves independently release highly anticipated third album Last Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy on 8^th March 2010.

Renowned Grammy Award winning producer, Darryl Torr produced this album from The Sick-Leaves that was recorded in November 2009 at SABC’s M5 studio. The album follows from the critically acclaimed SAMA nominated first & second albums Tunnel Vision & Stone the Crow (2007 & 2009 respectively), with Stone the Crow also having been released independently. Bruce Dennill, editor of CitiVibe has said of the album: “The Sick-Leaves continue to build one of South Africa’s most intriguing musical brands with shorter, sharper, more accessible songs – including the blistering “Coz You Like It” – on new album “Last Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairy”.

Last Dance of The Sugar Plum Fairy consists of eleven original songs as composed by singer/songwriter/guitarist Eksteen Jacobsz, with all instrumentation except for drums, tracked by him. These songs are punchy and catchy featuring epic guitar solos and new themes with a total album length being twenty minutes less than that of Tunnel Vision or Stone the Crow. The album is guitar driven rock, yet its sound differs quite considerably from that of the first two albums due to the influence of producer, Darryl Torr, the experience gained since the release of Stone the Crow in 2008 and a new direction in song writing. The album has already been well received in the media following the media launch held on Wednesday 24^th February in association with Jose Cuervo at Narina Trogon. Johannesburg.Photographer Sean Brand designed all the album artwork using infrared photographs taken in Namibia to fit with the concept of the album.

Recent accolades for The Sick-Leaves include a 2010 MK Award nomination for the animated music video ‘All These Foolish Things (I’ve said)’ and a (Live)5 performance on national radio station 5FM’s live performance show at the end of January. The first single ‘Coz you like it’ is currently on rotation on regional & campus radio stations countrywide with previous singles off Tunnel Vision and Stone the Crow having reached the number one position on a number of SA campus charts. ‘Such a Waster’ & ‘All These Foolish Things (I’ve said)’ were play listed on 5FM.

The Sick-Leaves performed at Ramfest Jo’burg, held on 6^th March at Emmarentia Botanical Gardens and are on the line-up for Splashy Fen in April.

Upcoming and current media coverage of The Sick-Leaves includes a feature interview on ETV Showbiz Report, Vuzu V-Entertainment interview & performance footage from the launch, MK Live interview, MK Studio 1 interview, MK Extra interview from media launch, Speakerbox feature & photo gallery, Zoopy interview, MIO interview, Entertainment Africa event review Super 5 media interview, as well as extensive print, online & radio interviews to promote the album.

The artist, Eksteen Jacobsz is excited for the release as saying: “The album signals a new direction for The Sick-Leaves & yet it still contains all The Sick-Leaves elements that were put in place by the first two albums. I can’t wait to play these songs live and take it to new ears all around the country”.

High profile performances of 2009 included: Friday night main stage performance at Oppikoppi: Smoorverlief, Rocking the Daisies, Synergy Live, Pinkie Fest, Vrede Fest III, St Stithians College Arts festival, MK’s Studio 1 as well as many club gigs around the country in Cape Town, Stellenbosch, Durban, Bloemfontein, Potchefstroom, Nelspruit and Polokwane.

“All These Foolish Things (I’ve said)’ off Tunnel Vision was used as the soundtrack for the 2009 Rocking the Daisies tv & radio ad on 5FM, MK & Vuzu with the music video being on rotation on MTV Europe, Vuzu & MK. The Sick-Leaves are endorsed by Music Connection and are brand ambassadors for Springleap.

The Sick-Leaves is the solo project of Eksteen Jacobsz. The Sick-Leaves albums are available in stores nationally, internationally through CDBaby, Amazon and digitally through iTunes and other online sites with Last Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy to be available from 8^th March.

Local press release sent to sergio@musicreview.co.za

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Artist Name: Starseed
Album Name: Peace Machine
Year: 2009
Genre: Hard Rock

Peace Machine is what I like to refer to as ‘soulful rock’ – where artists focus more on melody and delivery than an abundance of aggression and chaos. Whilst many other bands hide behind talented guitarists or drummers and fail to realise that the voice is still one of the most powerful instruments in music, Starseed have created an expressive sound around their vocalist, Russell Spence. At times, I can’t help but wonder if Spence attended the same “School of Soul” as The Narrow’s Hanu De Jong, because these guys are just masters of modern melodic rock!

By no means is Spence the only star of the group, as he is complimented by equally impressive musicianship from his other band members. There is a collective method to the songwriting and you immediately notice that Starseed focus more on running a tight ship than having an individualistic pompous approach. A track such as ‘Shine’ excels because of this, as it’s a solid song from beginning to end, not just a quick flash of brilliance.

The roots of the album are also interesting to note, as you pick up many elements of punk, rock, metal and hardcore in the sound. Personally, one of the highlights of Peace Machine was the savage ‘Pills’, which really summed up the variety of the record – ferocity, melody, and mosh-along sections that will ignite any rocker’s heart.

From the radio-friendly hits to heavier numbers, Peace Machine is one of the most solid debuts I’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing. Producer Jason Wilcock’s obviously pushed Starseed to the extreme, as all 12 tracks are truly world-class in every way. Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised to see these guys sharing the stage with bands such as Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace in the near future. Buy it now!

Best Tracks: ‘Shine’, ‘Falling’, and ‘Pills’

90/100

- Sergio Pereira
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Photos of the Ramfest 2010 – Cape Town event.

Many Thanks to Liezel Scheepers for sending us the following photos of the Ramfest – Cape Town event. If you would like to tag yourself in these photos on Facebook, become a member of the official MusicReview Fan Page.

- Bret D
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Black metal has a bizarre connection to the forest. I mean, at least 5 of these videos are shot in forests, which is rather unfortunate, you will see why. Electric guitars in rivers? Yup, it happens in this video. Oh… and don’t forget the makeup. Get ready to laugh until you cry, as it’s funnier than

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Checkout The City Is The Desert’s profile over here.

Calling all Bands, want a profile page? Simply email us and we will arrange it!

Book Title: The Long Hard Road Out Of Hell
Year: 1998
Author: Marilyn Manson with Neil Strauss
Pages: 288

The book follows the evolution of Brian Warner to that of shock-rocker Marilyn Manson. Written before the release of Antichrist Superstar, it has it all – from the forming of Marilyn Manson and the Spooky Kids to the meeting of Anton LaVey, the reader is taken down a drug-induced rabbit hole into Manson’s eccentric world. Don’t be surprised if you flinch when you read all about his disturbing sexually ambiguous anecdotes – homophobes, be warned.

The only criticism I have for the book is that Manson’s story does seem too much like the perfect Hollywood script, and I doubt some of the credentials of his story. Though it must be said that Manson has always had a tongue-in-cheek approach to the media, therefore it is impossible to know if things said were true or strictly for his own amusement.

Nonetheless, it is an intriguing read, which will horrify many parents and entertain their offsprings.

67/100

- Sergio Pereira
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